Santa and Me

I've done it!
I'VE DONE IT!
The Multiverse™ will soon fall to OBLIVION!

I've been working diligently all year, striving to complete this one.. thing.

A few years ago, I discovered a brilliant young scientist who was working with paradimensional resonance or some junk and took him under my wing (ie. held him at gunpoint and forced him to do my bidding; kill your family and friends leverage crap, you know the take). I funded his wild experiments and he made sure I was always with coffee.

He would explain quantum theory (or try to) and I would not sleep through his presentations ever! I payed 110% attention to every word, every detail.
As The Multiverse™ expanded, he expounded.

Just last year, several of the lowest levels of Los Sauces were flooded and we lost progress on several key elements. It was a setback, but only a minor one. We also lost a few investors that put us in the red.
That was a bigger setback.
Dr. Tarantula, greasy maniac that he is, offered to 'loan' us some cash to help get us back on our feet.  He subsequently pulled the rug out from under us and we went spilling out of Los Sauces.
To be refused entry by chickens (of all creatures) was insulting.

It was Henchmen that we turned to, Dear Reader. Henchmen.
Vile beings, though loyal, who were willing to do what it takes to get the job done.
They caught me, my guard down, and pulled me from the edge of OBLIVION's caress.

Through the last year, with strides, I returned. Operation: Kill Kringle 2011 was not a complete bust, for I took from the Fat Man his coveted list.*  With all the names.
All the names and all the addresses.

And all your desires.

And what do i want all this for?

Ü

to burn it all down, of course

Oblivion, Dear Reader, is my only course.
The Multiverse™ has it all. Everything. Every possibility.
The only action that would make any sense, that would have meaning, is oblivion.

Oh poo, I guess you caught me monologueing. Sigh, I guess you're going to try to stop me now.
Aw, shucks, I would have gotten away with it if it weren't for you rotten kids.
Oh wait.
I'm not giving you my plan.
I don't make plans.

I also wouldn't tell you any of what I am up to if you had any chance of stopping me.  Operation Kill Kringle 2012 is already over. The Fat Man is already dead.
His sack was removed (long ago, according to his Missus), reindeer captured (barbequed, tasty!), elves slaughtered, and technology reverse engineered by capable robot hands. Better luck next ti ha ha haha. There won't be a next year, kiddies!  Nets.
Santa's reindeer are a different breed, Magnus. They could chew through irradiated cables, mutated. Not keen on the netting. Or the barbeque.

Don't give me that look.
The Multiverse™ gents. And ladies.
And whatevers.
ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE.
Look into the face of Oblivion.
Gaze into nothing.

My marvelous weapon, Dear Reader, is yet to be revealed.
It took several raids, some in the dead of night when secrecy can be maintained the easiest. We tramped into others' territory and pilfered what secrets we could.  I did a few drops in Lake Town, had a chilling brunch in Colorado Springs, and got crates full of loot out of New Jersey.
Oh sure, some of it smells.

A combination of alcohol, crow, and actors.

I spent some time up in Seattle, though brief, and came out the other end a more vicious, more determined ghost.  I got down to Portland, up to Yellowknife, across to Kingston, and missed the flight to Essex.
We had more planned, but we don't make plans, so Beijing is right out.

Thanks for all the plans, scientist-types.  Your work is harmless apart, together all is made dangerous.
The culmination is a weapon of awesome power.

Well, weapon is in the eye of, well, the hand of the be-- well, holder.
It's not a weapon, in the right hands.
Fortunately (unfortunately) it's in the wrong hands.
A self righteous prick who's ready to do what it takes to get the job done.
That's right.
A Henchman.
The lowest sub-category of human.
And moreso unhuman, because of the whole.. dead thing.

I choose to behave this way. Whether Henchman, Minion, or Villain.
I am, what I am.
I have served none save myself, even when purposefully serving others.
That just makes me EVIL.
That's a label I can.. live... with.

Here in the NECROVERSE, where all things go when they die, we have learned immense patience.
You will come to us, eventually.
You all will.
It all comes out in the wash, eh?
For all your fury, you remain as you are:

nothing

welcomehomeapocalypse
welcomehome





-AW


*You would think after all these years and the boon technology would be to such a job, why doesn't he just get a GPS? I've spotted a few satellites in my day, one of em had to be from the North Pole.

Playtime (and why it is over)

I have come before you (this is not the first time) and told you of the future.
You ignored my warnings.
You ignored (re: DENIED) my claims of genius.
I responded. You are aware of this.
I swooped low and put both fettered feet in the bile.
I was up to my decaying EYE in bull-tender.

It's time, droogs, to dispell some myth and 'magic'.

One, you are allowed the 1st no longer. Your G-D is dead. Your 'rights' are null and void.
You have had several opportunities to change your strategy with me.
And lo, have you fallen.
Your time apart was used wisely, I trust, to fortify your hold. While you tarried, seeds were planted and they took root (did I forget to mention my GREEN THUMB? I'm biting it, just so.. you know, you know).
You may now fear me.
You may now put a 'face' to the terror that keeps you up at night.

And know I KNOW.
KNOW IT.

All these dancing pieces of shit twiddling their little fuck-tard lives in my Facebook feed?
Nope.
Do I care about your DUMB SHIT?
Nope.
Can you stop me?
Nope.
D'aww, you havin' twouble weedin' da words?
CAN YOU READ NEANDERTHAL?
I got me a host of bodies. Willing and able to BEAT YOU.

And we will.
There will be a revision of a list.
Just one and then your destiny is written.

hate. i know hate.
i hate. i am hated.
i am hatred.
and for what i do next,
hate will be what consumes you.
but, i don't hate you little guy. What's to hate?
It's cute tho.
Oh so cute.

All this talk.
talk talk talk
It's getting old. So very, very old.
Just like you.
You know who's not old?

Me.
98, 81, 77, 69, 54, 49, 44, 39, 35, 33, 31, 29, 27-18, 16, 12, 9, 6, 1.
I will be as young as I like. Whatever necessitates your demise.
Yes, this means what you haven't comprehended yet.
I will be those close to you.
Your mother. Your father.
Allies, Contacts, Resources.
Ignore it again.

Comic Conventions, Fleamarkets, Car Shows, Yard Sales, Concerts, Bar Mitzvahs, Block Parties, Grand Openings, Press Conferences, Citizens in Distress, 'Super Heroes'...
Anyone, anywhere.



-Agent Wraith
(Verbose) Necromancer Extraordinaire


.- #youcaughtmemonologueing
.- #curseyou
.- #loaofevil

YOU?!? HA HA HA HA HA!
YOU THINK I'M TALKING ABOUT YOU?!??!
HA HA HA HA HA!*

That FAT CHRISTMAS FUCK.

I'm going after Christmas.
And I'm plotting (always plotting) it now.
Putting the band back together...

*Literally, I couldn't type it any LOUDER
Originally posted: 5 /13/ 12

UPDATE: Monday 21, 2012, Rex Velvet posts photo. I see your time travel, sir.
I have chronophobia. VILLAINS DON'T MAKE PLANS!

The EYE is on fire.

A great lidless eye.. wreathed in flame..

-Agent Wraith

Cats and Time Travel

If you haven't had your fix of cats and time travel this week,

                              you are in luck!

Found here:

http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com

Have fun, kiddies!
Er, I mean kitties.

Smoke Signals? Meh

Do you know how simple it is to ignore me?

Barely a push of a button and POOF!
No more Agent Wraith.

No more updates, no more annoyance.
No more direct feeds.

Agent Wraith gets to play in a sandbox of his own making.

And that's only if you really WANT to ignore me.
If you don't mind the occasional verbal sting, admittedly childish ones, then you can do nothing.
I, honestly, prefer the fingers-in-ears-I-can't-hear-you-La-La-La approach, but that's me.

And why does it seem like everyone wants to HAARP on the ghost-schtick?
I can see where it comes from.  The I-can't-take-you-seriously-because-you-wear-a-mask routine.
I get it.

Recently, there's been this 'buzz' about a particular faceless fella.  I say 'buzz', but what I really mean is nonsonce.
It's really none of my business.
I didn't ask to be part of it, but I am part of it.

I guess my view is of a larger picture, when I should have focused more closely on my own selfish needs.
Wait, did that.
I guess my view is focused on my own selfish needs, with a broad vision of what those needs could accomplish.

Or destroy.

In a sense, I'm trying to give myself some balance.
A self imposed check on my activities.
Like The Harrowing.
An in depth scrutiny of everything I claim to be.
Helps weed out the missing scales on the underbelly.
Or so I've heard.

I've also heard some more nonsonce...
Like how I can't communicate with the dead.
Now, that's nonsonce.
I can, literally and most recently literarily, communicate with the dead.

i also said i can see the future.
bah! this is ridiculous.
how could i have seen this coming?

Because my eyes are open?

Shamelessly 'torn' from Embrace the Malignance. Final Smoke Signal.

"Then I realized that no one and nothing is worth me caring about in any of these communities and came back with that in mind."

Realizing anything I say beyond this point would be akin to schadenfreude, but in typical 'bumbling', I will persist.

'Communities'.
Working together, apart, or against, the entire world is a 'community'.
So, humans, in a need to quantify EVERYTHING, split everything up into smaller communities.  Mostly for their selfish I-want-my-own-space-to-control and who-needs-THEIR-circle-we'll-make-our-own.  But every entity bound to this rock is part of it.  Admitted or not, denied or not.

And just because I say 'Destroy All Humans' doesn't mean I think every human needs it.
Or deserves it.
I believe I listed my demands several times over.
Some humans have changed, some, I'd like to think, by my actions.
But, for the most part, humans remain a plague on this planet.
Those can be swept off.
Maybe just those.

I don't want World Domination.
I want Global Peace.

Tarrying too long in war and strife only pushes you into the I-wreck-shit-cause-I-can territory.

That's troll territory.
Some of you may like trollin' deep.



Me?
I'm indulgent in selfish behavior.
I'll do whatever I want.
I'm a Villain.


Agent Wraith
p.s. I have caricatures (little funny drawings) of each of you. Not just villains and heroes.
Humans.  Think of it like abstract art.
It's not going to make sense to anyone but the artist.
And he's crazy.

p.p.s. Mind Games. lol

Entry 5