Head Shot!

Head Shot!

Saturday, April 7, 2012

Stride

Last night was amazing!
Thank you for tuning in, I'm glad we were able to share.
If you were not able to call in, you missed some great work.
I can't believe the SPECIAL GUESTS.
I had no idea they were going to call in. I swear.
Congratulations to Wilmer Dalimacken from Utah who won.
I don't know how you did it, Wilmer.
Your 'device' is in the mail. lol

It was an experiment, really. We took the concept of the show and ran with it.
I pretended to be a supervillain with an internet broadcast.

I appreciate the artificial support, canned laughter, and grudgingly polite guests on my fictionally fetid fabrication. Considering that I play every part.. because I AM ONE GUY.. my tasks are laborious and ironically satisfying.

Role playing CAN BE FUN!!!

Maybe I'll take things too far (AS PER MY NATURE) and dress up! Next time, I'll be in a suit of armor at your parent's house.
Roll to save against DEATH.


I guess it's a shame. I'm only a roleplayer. If you think about it, I play all the roles, so I really should be considered the storyteller. He-who-makes-shit-up. Also known as a LIAR.
I'm not a not-so-super supervillain terrorist bent on eradicating all humans in an insane attempt to save the planet. I just play one on the internet.

But..
wouldn't it be weird..
if i actually was??

Like..

you know..


insane?



-AW





What? You thought I was going to say supervillain?
Pfft. There's no such thing as a SUPERVILLAIN.
NO. SUCH. THING.

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Statement of Intent

We have to be very careful these days.
Air Marshals abound.

It only takes an utterance, even wildly impossible verbage, and you resolve yourself to lengthy court battles arguing about your insanely expensive sports car rental and why you were dressed as a comic book character to an elderly man in a dark cloak.
Not a bad way to introduce Real Life Super Hero, The Living Room Edition.
A game that is fun for THE WHOLE FAMILY!

It tests your knowledge of local laws in PULL OVER, GET DOWN ON THE GROUND!
It pits your wit against dim-witted interns in the exciting Slow News Day feature!
It challenges your resolve as your SUPERHERO trudges through recent upheavals in social media!
MEDIA BLITZ!
Doc Drop!

Choose between several SUPERHERO archetypes!

...

You will see many things.
90 % of what I say, is TRUE.
15% is bold face lying.
3% is pure fabrication.
And 8.4192½ % is FACT.
100% of the time, I'm DEAD serious.

Facebook, meh. Necessary evil?
There's a chance dust collects.

...

It stands to posit, this is it.
-Agent Wraith

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Unknown File #216 - Out of the loop


Yes.
i have no idea who this is.

Build a profile. 9?
If that's how many people are in this group, I can't tell.

Someone wanna help a ghost out here?



Who's got some reports... I SEE ONE


One. Step. Closer.

-AW


Wednesday, March 21, 2012

instigation

by now you must realize that it was not a joke.
it truly is supervillain war.

this will probably not be the only time you hear about this. there's a 'buzz' going on, you just have to know how to look for it. but it is going on.
villains choose what to publicize. i may face the crosshairs for this post.

whatever.

what i do know, i will keep. only clues, as from the beginning, will you get.

eyes everywhere see
incensed, enraged, you lie
yours is the hero's path

villain's are a prideful sort. they boast, they claim, they terrorize.
it's all part of their schtick.
but in reality, it's all bunk.
what little they have is dramatically exaggerated.
and some villains have very, very little.

some are
very
very
little

there are upstarts in this arena.
charlatans, false-tongues, sheep in wolf clothing
they will have you believe in their villainy.
they will have you believe they are evil.

i say nay.
where once my support was cast to villainy at large, it has retracted.
i will keep my company with whom i choose.
and i choose no longer to smile curtly while shit spews from hero-turned-villain-turned-hero mouths.
heroes, as you all know, lack a certain.. class.
they proselytize, because they want you to drink the punch (SEE: Jonestown)
evil. pfft.
what you know of evil i could fit into a shoebox with enough room left over to fit what happened the last time a 'villain' dare show his ass (re: the 'real' baron terror). you know of evil.
but you are not evil.

i pierce through the mirage.
i see more than i let on.

and you see less than you say you do.

next time you decide to 'team-up', you'll have to stick to your fellow taser mules.
villainy remains forever.

you are also an ass-hat.


-aw

Sunday, March 4, 2012

CALAMITY CLAUSE

And by that you know I'm serious.
For serious.
If this must be explained to the group outside the group of groups within the group, let it be said by someone else. I invoke it now as opposed to after. There will be things to see in 2012.
Least of all is Sheepaggeddon.

There's so MANY GROUPS! Is there an option to opt out of being put into groups?
Man, I hate Facebook.

'Friends'.
Bleh.

And the EYE.  Not that one. The big brother one.
You know, always watching.
Like a reality tv show.

Several snipes were fired simply on the basis that they do not exist.
Any casualties are to be listed as 'Collateral Damage'.

The number 11 will play a significant roll in the near future.

Coming soon, tables turned!
Christians EAT Lions!!

Now, I have some filming to do.. crappy camera and all.*

-Agent Wraith
*Adobe Premiere? ADOBE PREMIER?! HA! I can't figure out how to work Minesweeper and you want me to muck with Adobe Premier? Opening a rift through which entropic energies are allowed to oscillate would be easier.