PENDING DELETION
Believe nothing that I say.
Greetings!
I am Agent Wraith.
I am the GREATEST RLSH EVER.
Through my will I have wrought a grand and wonderful vision, one of HOPE and PEACE and LOVE and HAPPINESS!
hadyougoing
No,no,no,no,no, NO!!
Insanity, ladies and gentlemen.
In.sanity.
| surmise it's possible, that somewhere there exists a reality where Zapata Wraith is alive and well and possessed (HA!) of a pleasant, perhaps even a cordial disposition.
Polite even.
oh.
wait.
I remember that guy. Sundays he would hunker down in his lair and terrorize Crossfire with polite yet annoying platitudes. Twice.
this is time travel.
THIS is TIME travel?
Inconsistency.
Incongruous.
or
is
it?
Multitudes or microcosms?
infinity?
ad naseum?
The escalation. yes, we talked about this.
Krampocalyptic Coalescence?
Pfft. I've been sto.ck.pil.ing wea.p.ons for decades.
I've been ar.med and dan.gerous since I was alive.
Supersuits.
It ain't Iron Man, it ain't Batman*, it just wishes it WAS the Punisher.
Or Joker.
Yes. Joker.
Armies of jokers.
It's insanity!
Joker 'technically' corners the market on straight-psycho wack-job nuttery, sometimes pandering to burn the world for the LULZ.
An army though? Joker is an alpha. And there is always a BIGGER fish.
Take note, inmates.
Things will go bust.
And then fish will be on the line.
And the next thing that goes bust will be fish butthole.
This colored text sponsored in part by Milk Chickens™.
"Milk Chickens™, Put them on your penis!"**
And teams. TEAMS!
likegroups
EVERYWHERE!
Let me be on your team! I'm on your team!
I AM YOUR TEAM!
The Second Amendment's arms are building mass. Now patrols.
What's next?
'Witnessing'?
Door-to-door preaching of exploits and the necessities of hood vigilantism?
Signatures for petitions for betterment of society?
Donations?
Volunteers?
Subjugation?
Sound
familiar
?
(this was removed for several years in fear of starting such a practice, now that it's common, the fear is all yours)
Options?
I've narrowed it down to roughly two.
be enslaved
or
die
There was a time you could have at least tortured yourself with the bliss of Utopian Playlands.
It's the big picture, Waldolf.
These rebels, these revolutionaries, such imaginations!
In direct opposition!
Against the current.
I don't gots no book smarts uh no genius, but I no its gotta be harder to turn an error around then jest guidin it a little to the left or right.
You could think to better yourself and perhaps turn the planet around from it's inevitable slag-state fit for nothing except your extinction, we know that's not going to happen, you lazy hippie. I would get one more henchman and the world would be a lifeless husk.. all according to.. uh.. nevermind.
You could think to better yourself and maybe one of these so-called villainous organizations will actually DO SOMETHING, like shanghai you into service and servitude at the front of their attack legion and you will die a glorious death.. nah. lazy hippies.
Or you could kill yourself.
It might be a great option.
INSTANT SERVITUDE!
What?
Elementary orchestration of genius or imbecilic blathering of nonsoncery?
-Agent Wraith
p.s. itsnotfunnyitssadreallywantmoretime
p.p.s. mobilizing
p.p.s. youdontwanttonowwhativeseenorwhereivebeen
*Oddly on this black sabbath, Ozzy has sung the words 'Iron Man' and 'war machine'. A disdain for DC perhaps with his treatment of flying rats aside, I'm just gibbering. #craigyferg
**You see, I knew this was bad when I said it the third and fourth times, but it bears repeating another million or so. I -know- it was a joke when it was said. I know. Who comes up with this SHIT?
heroes
Head Shot!
Sunday, July 15, 2012
Sunday, July 8, 2012
Goodnight Mermaid Man
For those Sagittarians out there,
As each hero passes, evil gains strength.
EVIL!
-Agent Wraith
As each hero passes, evil gains strength.
EVIL!
-Agent Wraith
On The Air
I've been getting emails lately asking where I've been.
Well, I can't tell you everything.
There is, on occasion, a respite. A rest, a recharge, before an inevitable attack.
This, perhaps, is one of those occasions.
It didn't start out as such, no. I don't PLAN anything.
While I was.. away.. one of you decided to step across the invisible line.
The one that keeps you out of my crosshairs.
The line that divides those who know better and those who have a death wish.
I've had this discussion with a 'Villain' once.
About what happens when you deign to address my work,
what happens when you address my employees,
and what happens when you address my henchmen.
There is a difference. I'll explain, make it simple and straightforward enough for you to understand.
Say what you want about my 'work'. Either your opinion matters or it doesn't. You wait to see what happens, not the other way around. I may listen, I may not. In this choice, this FREEDOM of choice, freedom to do or not, adjust or ignore.. thanks for stopping!
Those I pay serve me. They are accustomed to your belittling. They are prepared for it.
Most take the same approach as I do about my 'work'. Maybe they listen.
Maybe they don't.
As for my henchmen..
They don't get paid.
And you shouldn't, if you value your sanity, if you value your eyes, your tongue, your balls, and your life, you shouldn't EVER dare address them cross. Don't chastise, scold, scoff, or even look in their general direction with an awkward eye.
They are not YOUR henchmen. They are MINE.
They are mine.
I send them to the stocks. I whip them.
I burn them.
They are mine to beat, punish, and/or kill.
Not you.
Who the FUCK do you THINK you ARE?
Me?
Hmm. That's an interesting concept.
In another dimension, perhaps.
Anyways, this 'Villain' didn't apologize, understandably so, but also understood the principle at hand.
-Agent Wraith
p.s. You have NO IDEA how close we are.
Well, I can't tell you everything.
There is, on occasion, a respite. A rest, a recharge, before an inevitable attack.
This, perhaps, is one of those occasions.
It didn't start out as such, no. I don't PLAN anything.
While I was.. away.. one of you decided to step across the invisible line.
The one that keeps you out of my crosshairs.
The line that divides those who know better and those who have a death wish.
I've had this discussion with a 'Villain' once.
About what happens when you deign to address my work,
what happens when you address my employees,
and what happens when you address my henchmen.
There is a difference. I'll explain, make it simple and straightforward enough for you to understand.
Say what you want about my 'work'. Either your opinion matters or it doesn't. You wait to see what happens, not the other way around. I may listen, I may not. In this choice, this FREEDOM of choice, freedom to do or not, adjust or ignore.. thanks for stopping!
Those I pay serve me. They are accustomed to your belittling. They are prepared for it.
Most take the same approach as I do about my 'work'. Maybe they listen.
Maybe they don't.
As for my henchmen..
They don't get paid.
And you shouldn't, if you value your sanity, if you value your eyes, your tongue, your balls, and your life, you shouldn't EVER dare address them cross. Don't chastise, scold, scoff, or even look in their general direction with an awkward eye.
They are not YOUR henchmen. They are MINE.
They are mine.
I send them to the stocks. I whip them.
I burn them.
They are mine to beat, punish, and/or kill.
Not you.
Who the FUCK do you THINK you ARE?
Me?
Hmm. That's an interesting concept.
In another dimension, perhaps.
Anyways, this 'Villain' didn't apologize, understandably so, but also understood the principle at hand.
-Agent Wraith
p.s. You have NO IDEA how close we are.
Wednesday, July 4, 2012
Execution
Hello!
You're just in time for something really neat.
Did I mention my fondness of 'professional' wrestling?
You don't choose death and destruction. It chooses you.
A wonderful find! And near a Hog's Head!
WHATTHEHELLISTHAT?!?
-Agent Wraith
Be sure to watch it over on Youtube.
Subscribe even.
This should happen more often.
Wrestling matches.
In broad daylight.
In the middle of town.
It's ridiculous. I know.
Ridiculously awesome.
You're just in time for something really neat.
Did I mention my fondness of 'professional' wrestling?
You don't choose death and destruction. It chooses you.
A wonderful find! And near a Hog's Head!
WHATTHEHELLISTHAT?!?
-Agent Wraith
Be sure to watch it over on Youtube.
Subscribe even.
This should happen more often.
Wrestling matches.
In broad daylight.
In the middle of town.
It's ridiculous. I know.
Ridiculously awesome.
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
Thursday, June 28, 2012
My craft
My craft?
I've been practicing moliate, carving up a storm of product.
It was the break, so desperately needed, that provided the interruption.
Teeth, TEETH! No sense going half-cocked; straight and severe, that's the course! Better wrong than weak, from the front, right at it!
So, my other work, some of which you can sample, is all over the place. Youtube, Talkshoe, Ustream... Little bits here and there.
I'll be adding to my libraries soon, because I'm not trying to erase anything like the evidence I've left behind of my evil deeds. Don't bother looking for my work, I should be force feeding it to you on the streets!
I would never cover my tracks or anything SHADY like that.
But a mobile propagandaaaaaa --I mean, promotional, a mobile promotional device is a good idea!
On another note, I've been talking to these scientist fellas. It's ridiculous how science is just a bunch of dudes lookin at stuff.
I could be a scientist, and I'm an idiot.
I'm a Real Life Not So Super Hero.
Science and it's science facts are hard to understand. Things like magnets and joules and watts and nuclei and all that is mad-stupid. They stand around looking at stuff, watching things happen, making observations and writing notes, papers even!
Buncha nerds.
I build things.. my engineering isn't anything above rubber bands and explosives. I'm an excellent marksman, on console entertainment devices. Over a 1000 hours! All simulation. Talk about nerds. lol
I want to build a large slingshot. Big enough to shoot a bowling ball.
If we have no boundaries and are unlimited in our imagination, anything is possible.
We have a responsibility to the future generations to leave behind a legacy worth continuing.
A legacy of hope and freedom, where man can live in harmony with the world and it's inhabitants.
Where laughter and humor are the currency and all is needed for all and no one is hungry or poor of food or riches because everyone has smiles for miles...
gimmeabreak
The time for charity is long over.
Do for oneself and no one else.
Hold close your allies and assets.
Hold strong your walls.
Let the world burn.
How's it going Florida?!?
Enough RAIN for ya?!?!?
HA HA HA HA HA!!
How about you Colorado??
Hot enough?
How about it Mexico?
Canada?
World?
Stay tuned for a special GLOBAL weather report...
@11ish
-Agent Wraith
p.s. Unicorns, that's what's going on.
Unicorns like a mother fucker.
I've been practicing moliate, carving up a storm of product.
It was the break, so desperately needed, that provided the interruption.
Teeth, TEETH! No sense going half-cocked; straight and severe, that's the course! Better wrong than weak, from the front, right at it!
So, my other work, some of which you can sample, is all over the place. Youtube, Talkshoe, Ustream... Little bits here and there.
I'll be adding to my libraries soon, because I'm not trying to erase anything like the evidence I've left behind of my evil deeds. Don't bother looking for my work, I should be force feeding it to you on the streets!
I would never cover my tracks or anything SHADY like that.
But a mobile propagandaaaaaa --I mean, promotional, a mobile promotional device is a good idea!
On another note, I've been talking to these scientist fellas. It's ridiculous how science is just a bunch of dudes lookin at stuff.
I could be a scientist, and I'm an idiot.
I'm a Real Life Not So Super Hero.
Science and it's science facts are hard to understand. Things like magnets and joules and watts and nuclei and all that is mad-stupid. They stand around looking at stuff, watching things happen, making observations and writing notes, papers even!
Buncha nerds.
I build things.. my engineering isn't anything above rubber bands and explosives. I'm an excellent marksman, on console entertainment devices. Over a 1000 hours! All simulation. Talk about nerds. lol
I want to build a large slingshot. Big enough to shoot a bowling ball.
If we have no boundaries and are unlimited in our imagination, anything is possible.
We have a responsibility to the future generations to leave behind a legacy worth continuing.
A legacy of hope and freedom, where man can live in harmony with the world and it's inhabitants.
Where laughter and humor are the currency and all is needed for all and no one is hungry or poor of food or riches because everyone has smiles for miles...
gimmeabreak
The time for charity is long over.
Do for oneself and no one else.
Hold close your allies and assets.
Hold strong your walls.
Let the world burn.
How's it going Florida?!?
Enough RAIN for ya?!?!?
HA HA HA HA HA!!
How about you Colorado??
Hot enough?
How about it Mexico?
Canada?
World?
Stay tuned for a special GLOBAL weather report...
@11ish
-Agent Wraith
p.s. Unicorns, that's what's going on.
Unicorns like a mother fucker.
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
Chronophobia-and more of that Full Circle crap
Where's all the flying cars?
Whether yesterday or tomorrow or today.. it's full of disappointments.
No hoverboards, 3 dimensional hologram advertisements, or fancy science meals.
It's the fax machines.
The only constant.
-Agent Wraith
Whether yesterday or tomorrow or today.. it's full of disappointments.
No hoverboards, 3 dimensional hologram advertisements, or fancy science meals.
It's the fax machines.
The only constant.
-Agent Wraith
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