Übermas 2011

Things are getting cold around here.
And I'm no longer talking about the environment in a space station.

If you've been paying attention to my Facebook (let's face it, lol, face.. there's three of you. One more than last month! WHOO!), I've been working with a few good (EVIL) Villains on getting up north to the Fat Man's Fortress of Elfitude.

Zyklon B and Mad Blackguard are fighting over the controls, well, what passes for controls on a centuries old Ghost Ship.

That's right, I commandeered the freakin' Dutchman.
The Flying Dutchman.

I tried to tell you my voodoo is better than yours.
But you didn't want to listen.

The Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present, and Future are on board as well.
Seems like Claus has been building up some heat since his jack-assery with Rudolph.
Did you see how he reacted to the poor thing's nose?
You only get that hyped up when drugs are involved, I'm just saying.

Icon is along for the ride, but not sure what he's in for. Treasure? Perhaps. I don't like dragging dead weight (So, you're cancelling Mind Games? DOHOHOHOHO!) but he promised to throw in when the fighting goes down.

And we all know there is going to be fighting.

I'm just hoping for those little cute bastards with jingle bells and pointy shoes.
Not those tall fucks with magic rings and deadly arrows.
You know. Sons of Elrond elves.
Those guys are dangerous.

Zyklon keeps clamoring for a Model T and a Thompson.
Mad Blackguard wants to blow stuff up and stab things.
Both of which, I am completely okay with.

I'm in it for The List.
I just want The List.

Keep your candy canes.
Keep your presents.

The sleigh and reindeer would be nice.
But, I am a stickler for keeping my expectations low.. you know, to be surprised when something great happens.

Like acquiring the means to deliver 'presents' to billions in a 24 hour period.

And when I'm done?
I'm going back to The Damocles to sit in my favorite chair.

Oh yes.

That one.

-AW

Operation: Kill Kringle

Phase One - Complete.
Phase Two - Complete.
Phase Three - In Progress.

We're working hard, you cape wearing goobs.

You keep endangering children's lives with your idiotic displays.
(Has it been made aware to the citizens of New York that they should wear protective gear so as to NOT TAKE AN ARROW TO THE BRAIN?!?!)

Übermas.

We've made a list.
We've checked it twice.


...


-AW

The Far Shores

I thought there was more time.

I was wrong.

I thought I could hold together.

I was wrong.

I don't know how to explain what dying means.
When I've been saying I'm already dead.
When I said I'd outlast you.

But.. it's all true.

I am already dead.

I am a ghost.



Restless, with much business left to finish,
Agent Wraith

Reality, Ponies, and Cannibalism?

Greetings.
It's been a while since I've done something like this, but I feel it should be done.
By the time you get through this sentence, you will have no idea what you are in for.


Let the madness begin.

I'm going to fuck your shit up.
Breaking molds is the game now, ladies and gents. Breaching the 4th wall, revealing the fruits of the previous game (see: BETRAYAL) and flaying precious assholes a new one (re: TREACHERY).
Chaos for chaos' sake?
Pfft.
For too long have you sat in your darkened basements, drunk off the trolling and seduction, seeking to tear down and ridicule those who stand a chance against the coming horde of STUPIDITY.
I'm going to burn it ALL down.

I don't seek to tear the world asunder, just tear the HUMANS from it!
But that doesn't mean we can't have a little fun before, while, and/or after we do it!

What things really boil down to.. when you get that EVIL REDUCTION SAUCE going..

It's all about ME.

I make an ugly, ugly pony.

Hairless, this is mah sad face.

Somewhere in the multiverse is a living breathing AGENT, capable of entertaining conversations and compliments, most likely helping the homeless or PASTA-forbid-it, BREEDING!
Ponies are sad, sad, misguided creatures. Adorned with false hope on their backsides and tufts of silky, lustrous hair.. I.. uh.. what?

Anywho.

In reality (even the one I deign to acknowledge), capes catch on a great number of things, arrows can puncture the skin (especially from rooftops), Cancer is deadly, alcohol is poison, and justice?
Justice is best served when you catch it, kill it, skin it, and cook it yourself.

It tastes better that way.


Mmmm.
Makes me hungry.

Off to find minions,
Agent Wraith


p.s. Agent Wraith does not, nor ever will, endorse the consumption of HUMAN flesh.
Minion or not.

p.p.s. General Zoi! Thank you for your hard work to make such Ponies Possible! More importantly (because ponies are the providence of HEROES), thank you for your work on Sims2 and Maxis coded product. Inspiration, convenience, and imagination! There is a digital world of Villain Sims under my control now! It's the perfect practice for when my mastery of Puppetry is complete.

Quintessence, the cornerstone of MAGIC!

Just mind the paradox.

Found here: http://ceronprime.tumblr.com/post/6764196731

Oh, may the ghosts of your feasting haunt your dreams.

-AW

Mississippi Gary

Giving Up The Ghost

Giving Up The Ghost
A True Ghost Story
Übermas 2011.


All will be revealed.