Reality, Ponies, and Cannibalism?

Greetings.
It's been a while since I've done something like this, but I feel it should be done.
By the time you get through this sentence, you will have no idea what you are in for.


Let the madness begin.

I'm going to fuck your shit up.
Breaking molds is the game now, ladies and gents. Breaching the 4th wall, revealing the fruits of the previous game (see: BETRAYAL) and flaying precious assholes a new one (re: TREACHERY).
Chaos for chaos' sake?
Pfft.
For too long have you sat in your darkened basements, drunk off the trolling and seduction, seeking to tear down and ridicule those who stand a chance against the coming horde of STUPIDITY.
I'm going to burn it ALL down.

I don't seek to tear the world asunder, just tear the HUMANS from it!
But that doesn't mean we can't have a little fun before, while, and/or after we do it!

What things really boil down to.. when you get that EVIL REDUCTION SAUCE going..

It's all about ME.

I make an ugly, ugly pony.

Hairless, this is mah sad face.

Somewhere in the multiverse is a living breathing AGENT, capable of entertaining conversations and compliments, most likely helping the homeless or PASTA-forbid-it, BREEDING!
Ponies are sad, sad, misguided creatures. Adorned with false hope on their backsides and tufts of silky, lustrous hair.. I.. uh.. what?

Anywho.

In reality (even the one I deign to acknowledge), capes catch on a great number of things, arrows can puncture the skin (especially from rooftops), Cancer is deadly, alcohol is poison, and justice?
Justice is best served when you catch it, kill it, skin it, and cook it yourself.

It tastes better that way.


Mmmm.
Makes me hungry.

Off to find minions,
Agent Wraith


p.s. Agent Wraith does not, nor ever will, endorse the consumption of HUMAN flesh.
Minion or not.

p.p.s. General Zoi! Thank you for your hard work to make such Ponies Possible! More importantly (because ponies are the providence of HEROES), thank you for your work on Sims2 and Maxis coded product. Inspiration, convenience, and imagination! There is a digital world of Villain Sims under my control now! It's the perfect practice for when my mastery of Puppetry is complete.

Targeted

Do you see that nifty digital picture at the top of this page?
Yeah, that's me:
"good ole mast.."  ..er, Agent Wraith.
It was an exercise in portents.
And it seems the 'prediction' has come true.

I have found myself under watchful eye before, whether malicious or 'just for lulz', and remained unscathed.
This time, eh.. not so much.

I've talked about Facebook 'hackers' being successful in infiltrating the systems here at Los Sauces.
There were executions, treaties, terminations, and compromises made to eliminate this as a threat.
Just recently we had some 'disturbance' by a certain 'RLSH'.. one who practices in IP identification.
This is all fine and dandy.  I never do anything without at least one camera recording (see: SLENDERMAN) and have it documented.  Why? Well, just so I can't be called a liar.  I'm sure it would be easy to just dump my claims.. but why bother?  There were 3 people in that room to start.
Someone invited a fourth.
That fourth pulled a location 'out of a hat'.
Called me a.. what was that choice piece of wording you used?
'YOU LYING FUCK!'

Heroes.

So what if I lie?
You gonna spank me?
I'd prefer if you would leave my punishment to professionals, like 22.
But on topic, you really have nothing to gain from it.
Spanking or revealing my location.
Whether or not I live in New Jersey... does it really matter?

No one seriously believed I lived in Mexico, did they?
I mean, was there anyone out there who thought I was anything more than a 'roleplayer in his mother's basement'?
What was that guy's name?
DoomCircle?

Seriously though, all you are doing is making yourself look bad.
That is the point though, isn't it?

Reveal yourself to be a plebe.
Show your snitchy colors.

And on a lighter note:

I'm actually a really good shot with a long bow.
I thought I was kinda okay.. but I'm actually really good.
Amazing what a few hours away from the computer will do ya.

You should try it.

-Agent Wraith
p.s. Don't think I forget.
I call you a bitch.. because you act like one.

(Fourth E)State of Union Address

Greetings!

I am Agent Wraith.

I come to you today with high hopes and aspirations; to explain the policies of Los Sauces, our GLOBAL efforts, and the toxicity of 'heroes'.  I am an Agent of the planet, not concerned with mortal and/or human reactional emotions, the instructor and teacher of all minds, and the occasional I-saw-that-plot-a-mile-away seer who randomly manages to 'see the future'.

Los Sauces has long prepared for the worst.
It is so small, isn't it?  Barely a spec among 'titans'.
Not even really noticeable.
Not really even noticed.
Under the radar for most, on radar for the worst.
Lately, the policy is to finish the day's work in record time (includes PT and KP) so we can relax and enjoy the last bits of the day before slumber.
That policy has a 'shelf-life'.
It's about to expire.

(We have only today; we are not guaranteed tomorrow.)

Truth be told (as far as 'prediction' is concerned), it's all patterns and equations.  When you are able to identify various patterns, discern them; you can 'predict' possible future aberrations and happenings.  You may have been privy or witness to some of these, you may not have.  Either way, my ramblings sometimes produce 'nuggets' of wisdom that take the shape of what-may-come-to-pass.  Really, it's not a 'gift' in the sense I was trained by some mystic (though I may have) or imbued with other-worldly powers (possible); sometimes my limited intelligence grants a modicum of insight (obvious) to be gathered.

It's mostly probability.  If you throw enough crap at a wall, inevitably, some will stick.

I am (Cobra) Commander of Los Sauces, General Executor of Will in this Estate.  I speak to you from a cold, hardened heart; my audience (humans) requires it for the storms that swell and seek release.  I rule this pathetic wasteland with a leathered glove, covering a stolen hand; ready, willing, and able to destroy those who oppose the JUSTICE sought by my benefactors, The Agency.
I would also like to point out my infatuation with FREE SPEECH.
To vocalize is a gift.
There are some on the planet who will stifle it (for varied reasons).  But you have to realize by now that opinions are like assholes.  Everyone's got one.  Most of them are stinky.
You're not going to like everything that's said.
Given.
You're not going to like everything.
Duh.
Don't point your finger at me and tell me what I can't say and expect me to zip it.
That's something akin to a dictator.

And we all know how penis potatoes are good for your skin.

Tyrants of the world, be damned.  Know that I am not here before you to cast doubt on my previous exploits or former 'associates'; I am speaking to you in a manner that was chosen carefully, with words that were deliberated just the same, to say what needs be said.  What few people who read this now will be aware long before the tide... I am common sense, pragmatism, and uncouth vengeance for a war-torn, exhausted, decayed and dying planet.

I, like my forbears, enjoy the 'bashing' and 'tearing down' of 'heroes'; but my leash strains.  I have curbed my enthusiasm, shelved my disdain, and stifled my hatred of you all for far too long.  I do not claim victory in this domain simply by stepping foot in it.  There is no victory here.
There is no 'win' for defeating an unarmed opponent.
There is no 'loss' for those who long ago gave up.

'Heroes', 'villains', RLSH, RLSV, Republicans, Democrats, officials, criminals, teachers, students, vampires, monsters, civil servants, servants, slaves, angels, demons, archangels, antichrists, antipopes, dictators, charlatans, liars, clowns, 'furries', nerds, champions, losers, elephants, oliphaunts, midgets, dwarves, hobbits, and Ross Perot.. you are all humans.

Notice the effect these 'heroes' have had.  They represent kindness, supposedly inherent in human nature, to inspire others to care and take care of the weak and unfortunate.  They also represent the WORST of human nature: the biased, bigoted, racist, fearful, spite-filled lunacy humans recognize but (mostly) always deny.
'Villains' cannot be lumped completely into these two distinctions, because 'villains' (as far as I have seen) are an unruly and fractious lot.  Some can be categorized, others not so much.
They all have 'inspired' others; both to do 'selfless' acts and 'care for their fellow man', both to do so unrecognized and to rail for recognition.  Their glorification has also inspired 'tagalongs' and emulators, wishing to follow in their 'mentor's' footsteps.  Their self-proclaimed self-righteous supposed selfless behavior has instigated a LEGION of followers and 'leaders'.  Their acts of 'bravery' and 'sacrifice' have inspired both imitators and opposition.
A spiral appears.  A twisting vortex of pain appears.
An inevitable crux, where the 'heroes' meet their 'villainous' counterparts (not for CHARITY) looms.
All who follow this path are doomed.

When the cries become too loud, the masses too massed to be ignored.. there will come a JUDGEMENT.  Your identities, your masks, your secret faces.. will be torn from you.  You will be forced to see the world as it is instead of through (sometimes beer-soaked) optimistic goggles.  You will be forced to crouch (in a BAD way) before the tribunals of REAL tyrants and 'evil-doers', forced to admit your hot-headed (embarrassing) behavior.  You will face (sans spandex) true justice.
True evil.

Hear me now, humans.
One last cry before the death knell.

You are all going to die.

Not exactly a surprise, is it?  As soon as you're born, you're dying.  A slow approach for some, others a bullet-train of destruction; all will perish in the coming tumult and NONE will be empowered to save a single soul.  Your bodies are frail, your minds are weak, your will is sapped, and your survival impossible.  Grasp this with firm fists, humans.  Take heed of these words:

You have only today.  You are not guaranteed tomorrow.

I have come to see you all as a threat to the survival of the planet, but this is untrue.  It was a fool's dream to cast that responsibility upon you.  No, you are no longer a threat to the continuation of life and the sustainability of Earth...

You have destroyed it.

For that, I become your worst nightmare.  Your paranoia will only increase.  Your desperation (the lonely, cold, sleepless nights, eyes struggling to stay open) will intensify.  I am out there.  I am watching.  Waiting.  I will be the monster in the dark.  I will be the terror that grips your heart in your sleep.
My shadow eats at me.  It has taken hold.

My forces were marshalled long ago, fanatical in our goal:
Stop the destruction of Earth.
The realization of this futility was seen and ignored.  Sometimes, you must persevere in the face of opposition (madness), futile though it may be.  The end was all the justification we needed.
Justice can no longer be served.
Winning is no longer an option.

This is MY 'Fourth Estate'.


Extinction, ladies and gentlemen.

Now leaving 'Heroes and Villains', departing soon for our final destination:

OBLIVION.

VERY relevant:

CONTAINS VULGAR LANGUAGE not suitable for those with weak constitutions.

-Agent Wraith
p.s. One last thing. If you thought I was cryptic before (and somehow didn't find all the Easter Eggs), just wait. It's going to get brain-damagingly CONFUSING up in this b*tch.


Good bye.