Proselytizing

I am Jack's frustration.

I don't need to go into any in depth explanations.

I don't need to argue my opinions, thoughts, cares, beliefs, testimonies, or posts.

I don't generally need to edit them either.
Whether grammatically speaking or observationally.

I will not delete my posts.
All prior communique stands.
I will not remove my friends, my 'friends', my frienemies, nor my enemies, from any list generated or created by a third party or myself.
You may do that yourself at your discretion.

I am Agent Wraith.
You.. are not.

Read this carefully, each who gaze upon it.
I do not fit neatly into any package.
I do not fit neatly into any package.
I do not fit neatly into any package.

I am a creature of chaos.
I am a tortured soul.
I am confused, scared, angry, malicious, vindictive, hateful, happy, afraid, spiteful, depressed, obsessive, masochistic, joyful, and irritable as any of you humans.
I'm just no longer human.
I am not the only one who sees myself as such.
No, it's not the groupies.
Speaking of which, there are none.

(On this note, I would like to address something... I am most certainly NOT who you think I am. Sure, alot is said in jest, some true, some not. What? I'm not allowed to lie now? Yeah, like I have ever let a rule tell me what I absolutely cannot do. No.

I am not Poop Knife.
I am not Tothian.
I am not Master Legend.

With the exception of PK, they just aren't that creative.
Even I understand my videos are obnoxious and annoying.
I understand that what I do and say are seriously ignored.
It's not completely because they are a waste of around 5 minutes of your life.
It's because to most.. I'm completely harmless.

And I was enjoying PK's patrol logs and spotlights.
I have gone back for leftovers of Evil Supreme Pizza and found them just as tasty as the first time I took a bite.)

I have been honest with those who wish to associate with me.
Give or take a few fallacies, I've been pretty straightforward.

1. Humans are destroying the planet.
Not so much anything, save a statement, mostly true.
Sure, there are animals out there destroying the planet.
There's the widely destructive red kangaroo, for example.
Why, just last week Captain Australia was fighting them off in his backyard.

2. Humans are insufferable creatures and should be destroyed.
I see humans as the cause for the planet's suffering.
Should we all wish to stay here.. tough shit.
Unless there is a major cull of the human population, consumption will continue to exponentially increase.. and then there will be nothing left.
Anyone see Life After People?

3. Humans are a virus.
Yes, Agent Smith was right.
You humans are like a virus.
Consume, breed, spread.
Rinse and repeat.
Especially if the rinse involves maniacal scripture and swearing to a new life without sin.

4. Humans are dual creatures incapable of purity.
Where did this come from?
Oh right. No one pays attention.
If you are just joining us, I think calling yourself Metatron, Michael, Raphael, Uriel, Gabriel, or referring to yourself as an arcangel is just ludicrous.
Although, myself in mind, I can't say too much aside from my opinion.
Cause frankly I don't really give a shit.
I get on you because it gets a laugh (mostly groans) and I think you are being fuck-nutters.

5. Heroes are a dime a dozen. Villains have to prove their worth.
For every hero that quits, ten more rise up in his place. For every hero that is crushed, twenty more rush to fill the void. For every villain that steps forth from shadows, there is the entire heroic roster ready to smash his face in and have little to no qualms about blasting it in full public view on every forum they can get to.
For every villain, there are at least two more willing to bad-mouth, belittle, and berate that villain. Shame him into servitude into their own army and never be heard of except in off-hand in-jokes.

6. I'm not afraid of anything.
This is not 100%.
I have a fear of sharks.
In a swimming pool.
In Colorado.
It's a long story.
I do not fear most things. Having seen death so many times and experienced it even more, I eagerly await the opportunity to rest my burdens on the competent shoulders of my subordinates, who in turn will emerge as seasoned villains. They will know the previous enemies and their modus operandi. They will carry this legacy. Just as I have.
I fear not your 'identity currency'.
If you know who I am and wish to reveal it, I can't really stop you.
What I can stop is how much power it gives you.
Blackmail?
Please.
I have nothing you want.
Servitude?
Ha!
No one wants me in their ranks. I demand too much, regardless of the beatings.
Blast me. The day my identity is revealed is the day I become an even greater threat.
With nothing to lose, one will risk anything.
Even if I am a second-coming-of-the-Joker-wannabe, lack originality, skills, clout, capitol, manpower, and notoriety.. I possess my body one leg at a time just like the rest of.. well.. whoops.

Oh, you think you have my number, do you?
Give me a call.
Let's chat.

7. We have only just begun.
Say goodbye to the old Wraith, you won't be seeing him much.
He was tired of jokes and gags.. tired of hearing how you hated it.. tired of feeling unheard and trod upon.
You'll see him every now and then. Rearing his ugly head.
The next time you see me?
Who knows, it may be sans mask.

I guess it all depends on how far along all those people who swear they don't know my name get.. or have got..ten? Damnit. Now I'm questioning my spelling.
And I'm cussing.
Fuck.

I am Jack's unsatisfied-eternally-wandering-ghost.

Last night...

I have spent the last few hours listlessly pacing our "panic room".

At first, although shocked and angered, I wanted to approach this with a cool head.
A calm demeanor.

No sense going off half-cocked.

Security at the lair has been lax if we can't keep dynamite armadillos and Malignobots out.
Serious upgrades are considered.
Budgets have been restructured to ensure upgrades are implemented.

We're quickly running out of budget.
Entertaining fund raising techniques and seminars.

Real estate acquisition.
Alabama, Alaska, Arizona, Arkansas, California, Colorado, Connecticut, Delaware, Florida, Georgia, Hawaii, Idaho, Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Maine, Maryland, Michigan, Minnesota, Mississippi, Missouri, Montana, Nebraska, Nevada, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New Mexico, New York, North Carolina, North Dakota, Ohio, Oklahoma, Oregon, Pennsylvania, Rhode island, South Carolina, South Dakota, Tennessee, Texas, Utah, Vermont, Virginia, Washington, West Virginia, Wisconsin, Wyoming.

So many choices.
So many options.
I could operate from a territory near another villain, far from them, or dare I say it?
I can see the audacity in my mind.
What could possibly come next?

The Villainous Villainy Challenge!!
Concepts brewing..
Imagine prizes... the antes..
Ego-worship and inflation sciences suggest effigies of the winner is sufficient lure.
Show case your evil!
Show us your villainy!

Declare it!
Announce it!
Proclaim it!
Denounce it!
Wait, wait. What?
No. No. No.
Give us your evil.
Show us your villainy.

You despot you.
Here are the rules.

1. Submissions must be video presentations.  One of the "prizes" mulled over is a DVD Box set of some obscure television series from the 90s and possible compilation of contestants entries and/or submissions.
 a. Preferably Youtube, but other medias are appropriate where applicable. Audio compositions without visual aid is not forbidden. But it is noted that videos lacking visual content are not favored.
b. You consent, upon submission, that any video composed for the contest is subject to the abusive rape and torture generally saved for the lowest of Youtube trollins.. As is par for the course on the internets.
b2. The internets will be witness to your villainy. Prepare for it to shock... Prepare for it to be a bomb. And not the boom-explode-kind. No, the nobody-likes-it-you-are-a-douche-kind.

2.  Each presentation should display your brand of villainy.  As you tear down the heroes (such wonderful language, Lord Malignance), brandish your weapons wisely.
a. This is your opportunity to shine.  Don't waste it unwisely.

3.  Upon submission, you agree to use discretion.  Your entries must be thoughtful and concise, but also boastful and vain. You must decide for yourself how far you are willing to go.  What you are willing to do to present your villainous villainy is up to you.  You agree to not hold the other contestants, judges, viewers, general populace, federal agencies, or Conan O'brien responsible for your shame, tears, or arrest.

More rules are sure to follow.

4. Have fun.

Consider financing for prizes. Donations welcome.

Announce official contest commencement date.
Soon.

Scratch that. Reverse it.

So here's my ideas for today.
Some are still pending.

Walking In Shadows and Los Sauces.
I'm going to try keeping 'blogging' on WIS and archive YouTube videos on LS.
That should keep things sorted out. But, it will have to be tested before it can be implemented permanently.
So, bear through that confusing first part; things get crazier from here on out, hopefully just more organized.

Why are Master Legend and Tothian the way they are?
I've got my theories; none of them make any sense.
You see, Christians tell me there is no such things as ghosts.
I don't know what to say to this. I simply must not exist to them.
Are ghosts the same as spirits?
Are spirits the same as souls?
Are souls reflections of ourselves?
Or some mental diagram of what we were?
Angels..? Angels?
Seriously?
...
Are they something 'higher' with some elevated status in the cosmos?
Aren't they still spirits of some sort?
Ah. Sorry. I'm boring you.
Whatever.
I'm Agent Reverend.
I can do what I want.
No homo.

Face facts.
I am a ghost.
I am a ghost in a body.
I am a ghost in a body in a rocket orbiting the Earth.
I'm a total frickin' ROCKSTAR FROM MARS!
WINNING!

Real estate in Florida is tempting.
There's a nice piece of land that I could acquire with little maneuvering and cost.
I have two concerns.
One, Malvado.
Florida is The Gorilla's Domain.
If I step on his toes, I can assume I will find myself under fecal fire.
They do that, you know.
You know.
Throw their poo.
Yeah.
Floridians.
Heh.
They throw their poo.

My other concern?
Landscaping.

What?
Oh. Master Legend lives in Florida?
Yep. He sure does.
Plenny of here-owes down'n Flor'da.
And?
I'm worried about flagstone, edging, and tree removal.
Although, this last item is hotly debated.
I do not wish to harm the trees.
You don't get it.
That's fine.
One day, it may be too late.
And you'll be eaten by some sort of tree/plant thing.
I digress.
Remember when I said they must think I don't exist?
I like being below the radar.
I play games too.
Mind games.

You did a really spot on job, White Skull.
I don't want to blabber about particulars, cause we all know I could go on about nothing for 30 minutes and actually only accomplish being mild to moderately annoying and perhaps .0009% pithy.

Damn it! I am easily distracted.

I blame it on J-j-j-jamie fox.

hello

existence is sustained through equilibrium

i am your inverse

not saying much lately

are we?

And you thought it wouldn't get worse? 3.

As a testament to my ever changing, yet always dominant will, I have reinstated Walking in Shadows.

Don't ask questions.

I don't need to explain myself.
Villains rarely do.
But, I am no mere villain.

I am a force of nature.
Literally.
I'm charged by nature.. to save it.

Whaaaaat?
Villain.. saving?

It's been done.
Computer King saves the villain.. and has been for some time now.
I like that guy.
He's creepy.
He's megalomaniacal.
Only the best villains are.

So, if you've found yourself upon this page, questioning your sanity, listlessly scrolling through posts, trying to make sense of it all.. then you've already fallen victim to one of the classic blunders.

One, is obviously never get into a land-war with the US Border Patrol.
And two, never go against an incorporeal being when DEATH is on the line!

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha h-*

Battle of Wits

Eat your heart out Wallace Shawn.
No, I mean it.
Eat it.

5

My henchmen.
I love my henchmen.

I feel it necessary to divulge some information (again).
Every year (around this time), we (all my subordinates and I) gather to celebrate the anniversary of my death.

What?

It reminds me of the sacrifices that I have made (being murdered) in my effort to reclaim this planet once and for all.  It allows us (my henchmen) to understand the path I have chosen (forced) to walk and the road they may (must) forge for themselves one day.

With recent events, it will be fitting.. We (my henchmen) will light the funeral pyres and cast those who sacrificed themselves for the cause.  The USPS will no longer be able to wage open-war with my forces here in Mexico.

Blackhole: 26 completely dead, 7 mostly dead, 12 wounded, and 1 Howitzer. The completely dead are completely useless now; extremities mangled beyond repair. Some of them no longer have limbs.  None listed among them can be scavenged.  The mostly dead are going back into the Hench-pool and will serve once again under my banner.

Lord Malignance: I hope you didn't send any henchmen during the siege.  If so, I apologize.  They are completely dead now.  Again.  My bad.

Now for the US Border Patrol.  But, I believe I have found a way around that as well.
Does anyone know the origin of Super-maa.a....er... uh, you know.  Big blue tights, red cape.. spit curl (I guess that excludes you, you bare headed man-beast!)?
Once you have dialed that in.. are you seeing where I'm going with this?

The missiles are ready.  My henchmen are ready.
Don't worry about them dying.. half of them are already dead.
Why can't I get 'It's Raining Men' out of my head all of a sudden?

Anywho, my 'Death Day' is close.. and the henches wanted to give me a present early.
Say goodbye, British Columbia.

And here's my gift to you.
I keep this just to remind me of what I lost.. and gained that fateful night.

Peace on earth.
And I mean.. that when all you humans are gone.. there will finally be peace.
Peace all over the world!
Heh. Peace.
Pieces.
Some over here.. some over there..

6

No Unknown Callers, Crossfire?
Oh, good lord.. The excuse?
Who knows for sure.
I can speculate.
Come, walk with me while I speculate.

1. R.O.A.C.H.
I know that things are being planned.  R.O.A.C.H. is always planning something.  And they should be.  You can't move forward if you stand still.  They aren't just watchers.  But, what did you think they were capable of?  Hijacking your show?  Please.  It's a simple disconnect button.. isn't it?  "Unknown Caller.. you are the weakest link.. goodbye."
2. Krampus
He got to you, didn't he, Crossfire?  He gives me the willies.  Not the I'm-so-afraid-of-him-I-shake willies.. the OMG-what-mother-would-let-this-crap-go-on-in-her-basement willies.  You gave up some information he didn't want.. now he's on you.
3.  Some one else
Threats.  They have you changing your modes out of fear.  What did they threaten you with?  Someone said something was going to happen.. and you didn't want to be unable to defend yourself.. more like, be able to zero in on their location.

I'm sure there are some heroes out there who don't want their location revealed.

They were smart, CF.  They never went public to be harassed by the rest of you RLSH-types.  Good for them.  To associate with madness is to contract it socially.  They point one finger at I-believe-I'm-an-angel-sent-by-GOD.. they point the finger at all of you.

What do you do with Cancer?
Cut it out, lest it spread and infect the whole.

Not like anyone gives a shit what I say, not like anyone is really reading this.. but if you don't respect my choice to stay anonymous.. You disrespect me.
That's not very nice.
That's not very nice at all.

So, Superhero Academy.
Where Superheroes get schooled.