Last night...

I have spent the last few hours listlessly pacing our "panic room".

At first, although shocked and angered, I wanted to approach this with a cool head.
A calm demeanor.

No sense going off half-cocked.

Security at the lair has been lax if we can't keep dynamite armadillos and Malignobots out.
Serious upgrades are considered.
Budgets have been restructured to ensure upgrades are implemented.

We're quickly running out of budget.
Entertaining fund raising techniques and seminars.

Real estate acquisition.
Alabama, Alaska, Arizona, Arkansas, California, Colorado, Connecticut, Delaware, Florida, Georgia, Hawaii, Idaho, Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Maine, Maryland, Michigan, Minnesota, Mississippi, Missouri, Montana, Nebraska, Nevada, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New Mexico, New York, North Carolina, North Dakota, Ohio, Oklahoma, Oregon, Pennsylvania, Rhode island, South Carolina, South Dakota, Tennessee, Texas, Utah, Vermont, Virginia, Washington, West Virginia, Wisconsin, Wyoming.

So many choices.
So many options.
I could operate from a territory near another villain, far from them, or dare I say it?
I can see the audacity in my mind.
What could possibly come next?

The Villainous Villainy Challenge!!
Concepts brewing..
Imagine prizes... the antes..
Ego-worship and inflation sciences suggest effigies of the winner is sufficient lure.
Show case your evil!
Show us your villainy!

Declare it!
Announce it!
Proclaim it!
Denounce it!
Wait, wait. What?
No. No. No.
Give us your evil.
Show us your villainy.

You despot you.
Here are the rules.

1. Submissions must be video presentations.  One of the "prizes" mulled over is a DVD Box set of some obscure television series from the 90s and possible compilation of contestants entries and/or submissions.
 a. Preferably Youtube, but other medias are appropriate where applicable. Audio compositions without visual aid is not forbidden. But it is noted that videos lacking visual content are not favored.
b. You consent, upon submission, that any video composed for the contest is subject to the abusive rape and torture generally saved for the lowest of Youtube trollins.. As is par for the course on the internets.
b2. The internets will be witness to your villainy. Prepare for it to shock... Prepare for it to be a bomb. And not the boom-explode-kind. No, the nobody-likes-it-you-are-a-douche-kind.

2.  Each presentation should display your brand of villainy.  As you tear down the heroes (such wonderful language, Lord Malignance), brandish your weapons wisely.
a. This is your opportunity to shine.  Don't waste it unwisely.

3.  Upon submission, you agree to use discretion.  Your entries must be thoughtful and concise, but also boastful and vain. You must decide for yourself how far you are willing to go.  What you are willing to do to present your villainous villainy is up to you.  You agree to not hold the other contestants, judges, viewers, general populace, federal agencies, or Conan O'brien responsible for your shame, tears, or arrest.

More rules are sure to follow.

4. Have fun.

Consider financing for prizes. Donations welcome.

Announce official contest commencement date.
Soon.

Scratch that. Reverse it.

So here's my ideas for today.
Some are still pending.

Walking In Shadows and Los Sauces.
I'm going to try keeping 'blogging' on WIS and archive YouTube videos on LS.
That should keep things sorted out. But, it will have to be tested before it can be implemented permanently.
So, bear through that confusing first part; things get crazier from here on out, hopefully just more organized.

Why are Master Legend and Tothian the way they are?
I've got my theories; none of them make any sense.
You see, Christians tell me there is no such things as ghosts.
I don't know what to say to this. I simply must not exist to them.
Are ghosts the same as spirits?
Are spirits the same as souls?
Are souls reflections of ourselves?
Or some mental diagram of what we were?
Angels..? Angels?
Seriously?
...
Are they something 'higher' with some elevated status in the cosmos?
Aren't they still spirits of some sort?
Ah. Sorry. I'm boring you.
Whatever.
I'm Agent Reverend.
I can do what I want.
No homo.

Face facts.
I am a ghost.
I am a ghost in a body.
I am a ghost in a body in a rocket orbiting the Earth.
I'm a total frickin' ROCKSTAR FROM MARS!
WINNING!

Real estate in Florida is tempting.
There's a nice piece of land that I could acquire with little maneuvering and cost.
I have two concerns.
One, Malvado.
Florida is The Gorilla's Domain.
If I step on his toes, I can assume I will find myself under fecal fire.
They do that, you know.
You know.
Throw their poo.
Yeah.
Floridians.
Heh.
They throw their poo.

My other concern?
Landscaping.

What?
Oh. Master Legend lives in Florida?
Yep. He sure does.
Plenny of here-owes down'n Flor'da.
And?
I'm worried about flagstone, edging, and tree removal.
Although, this last item is hotly debated.
I do not wish to harm the trees.
You don't get it.
That's fine.
One day, it may be too late.
And you'll be eaten by some sort of tree/plant thing.
I digress.
Remember when I said they must think I don't exist?
I like being below the radar.
I play games too.
Mind games.

You did a really spot on job, White Skull.
I don't want to blabber about particulars, cause we all know I could go on about nothing for 30 minutes and actually only accomplish being mild to moderately annoying and perhaps .0009% pithy.

Damn it! I am easily distracted.

I blame it on J-j-j-jamie fox.

hello

existence is sustained through equilibrium

i am your inverse

not saying much lately

are we?

And you thought it wouldn't get worse? 3.

As a testament to my ever changing, yet always dominant will, I have reinstated Walking in Shadows.

Don't ask questions.

I don't need to explain myself.
Villains rarely do.
But, I am no mere villain.

I am a force of nature.
Literally.
I'm charged by nature.. to save it.

Whaaaaat?
Villain.. saving?

It's been done.
Computer King saves the villain.. and has been for some time now.
I like that guy.
He's creepy.
He's megalomaniacal.
Only the best villains are.

So, if you've found yourself upon this page, questioning your sanity, listlessly scrolling through posts, trying to make sense of it all.. then you've already fallen victim to one of the classic blunders.

One, is obviously never get into a land-war with the US Border Patrol.
And two, never go against an incorporeal being when DEATH is on the line!

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha h-*

Battle of Wits

Eat your heart out Wallace Shawn.
No, I mean it.
Eat it.

5

My henchmen.
I love my henchmen.

I feel it necessary to divulge some information (again).
Every year (around this time), we (all my subordinates and I) gather to celebrate the anniversary of my death.

What?

It reminds me of the sacrifices that I have made (being murdered) in my effort to reclaim this planet once and for all.  It allows us (my henchmen) to understand the path I have chosen (forced) to walk and the road they may (must) forge for themselves one day.

With recent events, it will be fitting.. We (my henchmen) will light the funeral pyres and cast those who sacrificed themselves for the cause.  The USPS will no longer be able to wage open-war with my forces here in Mexico.

Blackhole: 26 completely dead, 7 mostly dead, 12 wounded, and 1 Howitzer. The completely dead are completely useless now; extremities mangled beyond repair. Some of them no longer have limbs.  None listed among them can be scavenged.  The mostly dead are going back into the Hench-pool and will serve once again under my banner.

Lord Malignance: I hope you didn't send any henchmen during the siege.  If so, I apologize.  They are completely dead now.  Again.  My bad.

Now for the US Border Patrol.  But, I believe I have found a way around that as well.
Does anyone know the origin of Super-maa.a....er... uh, you know.  Big blue tights, red cape.. spit curl (I guess that excludes you, you bare headed man-beast!)?
Once you have dialed that in.. are you seeing where I'm going with this?

The missiles are ready.  My henchmen are ready.
Don't worry about them dying.. half of them are already dead.
Why can't I get 'It's Raining Men' out of my head all of a sudden?

Anywho, my 'Death Day' is close.. and the henches wanted to give me a present early.
Say goodbye, British Columbia.

And here's my gift to you.
I keep this just to remind me of what I lost.. and gained that fateful night.

Peace on earth.
And I mean.. that when all you humans are gone.. there will finally be peace.
Peace all over the world!
Heh. Peace.
Pieces.
Some over here.. some over there..

6

No Unknown Callers, Crossfire?
Oh, good lord.. The excuse?
Who knows for sure.
I can speculate.
Come, walk with me while I speculate.

1. R.O.A.C.H.
I know that things are being planned.  R.O.A.C.H. is always planning something.  And they should be.  You can't move forward if you stand still.  They aren't just watchers.  But, what did you think they were capable of?  Hijacking your show?  Please.  It's a simple disconnect button.. isn't it?  "Unknown Caller.. you are the weakest link.. goodbye."
2. Krampus
He got to you, didn't he, Crossfire?  He gives me the willies.  Not the I'm-so-afraid-of-him-I-shake willies.. the OMG-what-mother-would-let-this-crap-go-on-in-her-basement willies.  You gave up some information he didn't want.. now he's on you.
3.  Some one else
Threats.  They have you changing your modes out of fear.  What did they threaten you with?  Someone said something was going to happen.. and you didn't want to be unable to defend yourself.. more like, be able to zero in on their location.

I'm sure there are some heroes out there who don't want their location revealed.

They were smart, CF.  They never went public to be harassed by the rest of you RLSH-types.  Good for them.  To associate with madness is to contract it socially.  They point one finger at I-believe-I'm-an-angel-sent-by-GOD.. they point the finger at all of you.

What do you do with Cancer?
Cut it out, lest it spread and infect the whole.

Not like anyone gives a shit what I say, not like anyone is really reading this.. but if you don't respect my choice to stay anonymous.. You disrespect me.
That's not very nice.
That's not very nice at all.

So, Superhero Academy.
Where Superheroes get schooled.

7

Today is a day of celebration at the compound.

There are many things going on that I cannot divulge, but, what I can say is that there is several parties in the upper levels to make the phrase 'raising the roof' a necessity.
We're literally running out of room.

Apparently today is Henchman Appreciation day at Los Sauces.  I completely neglected to get my lessers a proper appreciation gift.

I know what some people are thinking.. Henchmen?  Appreciation?

But, you know what?  You can't run a successful organization without loyal and comfortable (complacent) henchmen.  Or employees if you prefer to monetarily compensate them.

Talk around the water cooler is that there is something going on.

To tell the truth, something definitely is going on.

My henchmen are valuable to me.  Every single one of them.
Bumbling as they are, they are my henchmen.
Not yours, mine.
Of course I have a tendency to be biased.
They are my henchmen.
I treat them well, they reciprocate.
Just because I despise, loathe, contemplate the eradication of, actually succeed in thinning portions of humanity, doesn't mean I can't sympathize or empathize with some of them.

So, yeah.
My henchmen.
Salutations!  Good work!  Keep it up!
Follow me.. in the end of it all.. we know we are fighting the good fight.
That's right.
I said it.
The good fight.

Does no one remember me telling you that evil is in the eye of the beholder?
*laughs*
Seriously?
I am saving this planet.  I seek its repair.
I'm not going to grow my hair out and team up with Treesong..
But this planet is my home.
For now.
Humans are its enemy.
So call me 'villain'.
Call me 'evil'.

You humans better wise up.

Snatch back your brain zombie.  Snatch it back and hold it.


Oh, I'm trying to square up with the locals and their reluctance to digitally record any ceremonies.  If I can hold to my position, pray that I appease the right gods, and hope that improbability is on my side.. I'll show you something you will never forget.
The world is vast.. and though this seems chaotic.. try to hold what I have been saying.

If you read this, see this as me talking to you like it's real.
To me, it is.
I come to you like you don't expect; like a friend.
Like yourself.
I talk to you like this not just because I can, but because I want to.

Either get with the program, or get deleted.