FacebÜk

I want to kill you.
I want to dice you into tiny pieces, grind them, and feed you to the homeless.

I hate you so much.

I've worn through three mandibles with incessant grinding teeth.

Listen, kiddies..
I understand reality can be a scary place.
It's full of unwanted variables, I know.

It's okay to be afraid. Fear is a grand motivator.

No matter your game, that's not the point
All you need is a name.
A name and you have a doorway to facebookery.
You can be a facebooker.
It's pronounced face'bhooker.

Likes, Unfollow Posts, Shares, Apps.. Check in, Instagram, blah blah, :P
And groups. GROUPS!!!?!?!?!!!!11!!!11!1
Gah.
I'm too timid with this technology to bother with a new social playground.
I had a 286 explode this morning.

Explode.

And don't get me started on anonymity.
CHANGE YOUR NAME!
HERE'S A NEW FORMAT!
Next will be your bank account.
You will PAY $$$  $$ $ $ $$
Nothing is free.. forever.

A matter of time, Facebook. Only a matter of time.
You will hopefully last long enough to be destroyed.

And then all the other internets.
Spend a dollar to send a message and see who does the talking.

-Agent Wraith

The Supervillain Handbook

The Supervillain Handbook
King Oblivion, PH.D.
as told to Matt D. Wilson



It's listed under HUMOR.

I laughed out loud in parts, related to others, saw corresponding incidences, and found it a pleasant read.
An hour lost, no new information.

Not any I can use.
Aside from the layout and design, which is very trendy.
And trendy is AWESUM!!!!1!1!

I would normally link this, give you some nifty and easy way to order/buy this WONDERFUL PRODUCT..
BUT

The International Society of Supervillains hasn't returned my calls and I've noticed an increase of shifty poorly crafted rockets carrying even shoddier satellites into my little corner of the thermosphere.

So go find your own damn links.

--Agent Wraith

Forgot about ... eh?

memories.

tao of now

my show is crap

redundancy

Meh.

If you pay attention (I've said that so few times...)
you know what's been going on.
I've had a chance to know a few of you and even be some of you.
Whether you liked it or not.

There's a chance I am literally ONE of you.
shudder

My timecard was punched long ago, citizens.
I've been doing this for free for far too long.
(Let's not count those banks. I won't count them. You won't count them.)

PROFIT!

Challenge? CHALLENGE?!?!?
I accept.

I also invite anyone to save my show.
It's total crap.
It's the Titanic of internet radio shows.
Not that silly movie.. IN 3D!
The actual ship.
Pomp. Circumstance.
Icebergs.
Sinking ships.
Death.
And it's boring.

Plotting.
Always plotting.

I'm too far gone. My psychosis consumed me last week.
I'm Bill. From Alabama.
And I've a Possessaholic.

Villains don't make plans.

And I don't make any money.

:(

also, greenscreens are beyond me.
i also have trouble with lighting

Filler? I think not.

I hardly know her.
HAR HAR HAR.

I'm not really trying to post inanely in a vain attempt to 'race' someone to a distinguished blog post count.
Nope.
I'm half-assing it.

I would like to take this time to address some of my 'lessers'.
I say this with a very sour taste, because I truly believe one day one of you will usurp my power.
If a Villain does not have this hope in his 'charges' then he/she should take another look at their 'empire'.
The strength in a chain is determined by it's weakest link. Correct?
If one of your weaklings is too weak, you should adjust them to their strengths.
Unless they have none.
Then you should kill them.
I can mold them into something useful.

Dead men tell no tales.
Yet they never SHUT UP.

HEY! CHECK THIS OUT!

Friday. 11 est.
talkshoe.

In Other News:

The Day After The Day Of The Machete

I didn't mean to burn anything.
Just for the record.

So, the Day of the Machete has come and gone; we sit content with the meals, celebration, and rest.
The machete has been properly honored.


NOW LET'S DO THIS:

It's entertainment!

Reference Points****

My work here is almost done. I've carved quite the little niche.
DreamCatcher and I have more work to do elsewhere, so on the road again...
Our associate will do just fine.

I will miss desecration (re:ART).

Everywhere, everywhere, paranoia everywhere.
It's really running wild.
It doesn't help that I'm actually being stalked.
Not all the time, mind you.
But I see it.
And not that, "I SEE IT! Can you SEE it? i SEE it. you have to SEE it. CAN'T you SEE it?" kind of see it.
I'm sure there's some I don't see.
I only have so many EYES.
I'm lucky to have one.
Or so an old Chinese proverb would have- is that racist? I think that might be racist. Crap.

So, if you've been paying the slightest attention, I seem to be at a bit of a crossroads.
AGAIN.

I don't like to be put on the spot, as certain Lavender Lillies would attest, and I like even less the audacity to approach so surreptitiously. My sarcasm runneth over.
What I tried to say among the throng of suspiciously slurred speech was it took BALLS.
Nod.
But, it is true.
Organizations I have done work for, worked for, associated with or were captured by* all either fell to spectacular ruin or I assimilated.

Neither of which are beneficial.

The one thing that really bugs** me about R.O.A.C.H. is numbers.
I have to kill one or two of their henchmen a week. I'm guessing it's so few because of the American economy. No one is buying t-shirts, no money for contract killings.
A mob six strong of crack influenced bat*** fed humans is no match for a ghost.
But I appreciate the workout. Same time next week?
I am considering... things.
How I want to approach my thoughts..

R.O.A.C.H. finally sends an emissary and they send Zyklon B?
Ole' Volcano-head must be smoking something if he thinks that's going to amount to much.
Evidence in the tape.
We bullshit too much for 'negotiations'.
Throw a hippy in there with his camping stories and all boring breaks loose.
I can dance all night because I have no legs.
My feet never touch the ground.
I'm sure they have more to throw at me.
We ping a satellite every now and then.
Horrible looking things.
It's mercy, really.
I'm almost sure the last one was a refrigerator.

This fictional rust bucket is tiresome.
I can't smash anymore Nintendo 64s for their processors.
I'm running out of D batteries.
Obsidian Labs won't answer my 'laser suggestions'.
Some of my videos are blocked in Germany.
There is no 1G.

Work, work, work. Very little play.
Makes Zapata a dull ghost.

zing

-AW

*technical term for 'shanghai', which is not to be confused with coerce

**Get it? R.O.A.C.H., bugs, get it? lol

***Louisville Slugger, not upside down nocturnal flying mammals

****Reference Points are not COPYRIGHTED, but are the SOLE propriety of Malignance Information Industries, where they say "We know you know, but we want to know that you know, you know?".