†

over the river and through the Woods

--

too many, too many, tOo many, too many, too many
hundrEds, thousands, millions, billions
it's getting harder To breathe
say goodbye flOrida
i can't see any mouTh breathers below
sea level surviving Hell
no sense dEnying it
every human instigatEs their
vEry
extinCtion
really, they will do the jOb eventually
only tiMe will tell if humans will
vanish, victimizEd vindictively verily
every last one oF them, to the last
rAt

--

can you See the cross hairs?
optical porTents forward
masterful applications of Intellect
ever So mindful of fury
alwAys
take Care of rage
maKe hate
everYthing
believe in nOthing
respect nothing, trUst none
obliteRate everything

--

i know your fearS
your shadow spEaks to me
every seCret
abashed Transparency
relish Oblivion
now what do we Really think about that?

good thing we're all just playing in the sandbox

The Guide To Villainy

You are joking.

I am joking.
That's it.. I've lost it.
I AM JOKING!

I.
AM.
JOKING!

jk jk jk

The Guide To Villainy is a wonderful resource and one should never excuse it out of hand.
Though the chapters are long and much wording is not necessary, as well as the unusual anecdotes, both strange and informative, the key text as a whole is quite extraordinary and valuable.

Pfft.

More rules.
More ways to break them.

There's a reason--

Chapter 27
Warfare.
Section 3, paragraph 1.
Henchmen, Minions, Goons, Brutes, Yes-Men, Legion, Bots, Thugs, Bronies, Gestapo, Safety Patrol, RLSH, X ALT, RLWP, RLYM, RLLL, RRRR, RLRL, etc. are considered expendable.
You may stand your ground.
Maybe you'll get yelled at.

Possibly chewed out.

Maybe leave without pay.

We'll see.

How's the dental?
...

A Guide to Villainy, The Gentlemen's Hurrah
Chapter 4, Relationships
Handling, Cultivation and Termination

Subparagraph 34:

Interlopers and Ne'er-do-wells
When interacting with cretin, trolls, and Eldin Rollers, one must be careful not to smudge one's shoes.
It is a nasty business dealing with bottom rakers and muck suckers.
It presents quite a mess.

A cannon at medium range is sufficient to deal with such low lying creatures. It eliminates any possible threat cleanly and efficiently.
And no clots on your foot wear.

...

Awww, bullshit.

-AW

THIS POST HAS ADS!

Imbecile.

Warehouses are hard to come by.
Empty warehouses used to be easy to find, everyone was always looking for more places to put their stuff.
Mexico is also well known for it's vast warehouse selection.

It's the wonderful seeds of war.
A few warehouses to tinker in, spread the chaos.

That moment when you have to decide between ammunition and personnel.

Very soon, the shipments roll in again. The sorting may begin.
A vault of machine weapons and their various ammunitions and I'm Scrooge McDuck.

THINK OF THE POSSIBILITIES

WAR.
It's a race now.
All out to the finish line.
Yes, THAT finish line.

Don't adjust your set.
Who gets the best toys? What fires shall burn?


-Agent Wraith
Might start a guild.
Maybe even a troupe. lol
Whatever comes next, Ferrymen..

And now you know

You have found yourself in deep woods.
The sound of crickets suddenly ceases.

You see a light.
You move closer.
There is a small fire in a clearing.

Gather round, a voice says.

As you sit near the flame the story begins:

Not everyone tells stories, yet everyone has a story to tell.
Some have so many stories to tell.

So how does this story begin?



Once upon a time..


in Mexico...

O, ye of little.. everything

You little scum sucker.
Bottom feeder. That's what you are.
You spend all your time on the bottom, yet aspire to the top.
Nothing wrong with that.

You can't let anyone or anything get past you.
Can't fault you for that either.
It's negatively evil.
Claw them, kill them, drag them down into the pits and refuse their release.
No one is going to blame you.

But there is one thing you could do to maybe ease your own pain we all know you are hiding.

Be polite.
Be concise.

And for FUCK'S SAKE..

SHUT THE FUCK UP.

Stride

Last night was amazing!
Thank you for tuning in, I'm glad we were able to share.
If you were not able to call in, you missed some great work.
I can't believe the SPECIAL GUESTS.
I had no idea they were going to call in. I swear.
Congratulations to Wilmer Dalimacken from Utah who won.
I don't know how you did it, Wilmer.
Your 'device' is in the mail. lol

It was an experiment, really. We took the concept of the show and ran with it.
I pretended to be a supervillain with an internet broadcast.

I appreciate the artificial support, canned laughter, and grudgingly polite guests on my fictionally fetid fabrication. Considering that I play every part.. because I AM ONE GUY.. my tasks are laborious and ironically satisfying.

Role playing CAN BE FUN!!!

Maybe I'll take things too far (AS PER MY NATURE) and dress up! Next time, I'll be in a suit of armor at your parent's house.
Roll to save against DEATH.


I guess it's a shame. I'm only a roleplayer. If you think about it, I play all the roles, so I really should be considered the storyteller. He-who-makes-shit-up. Also known as a LIAR.
I'm not a not-so-super supervillain terrorist bent on eradicating all humans in an insane attempt to save the planet. I just play one on the internet.

But..
wouldn't it be weird..
if i actually was??

Like..

you know..


insane?



-AW





What? You thought I was going to say supervillain?
Pfft. There's no such thing as a SUPERVILLAIN.
NO. SUCH. THING.

Statement of Intent

We have to be very careful these days.
Air Marshals abound.

It only takes an utterance, even wildly impossible verbage, and you resolve yourself to lengthy court battles arguing about your insanely expensive sports car rental and why you were dressed as a comic book character to an elderly man in a dark cloak.
Not a bad way to introduce Real Life Super Hero, The Living Room Edition.
A game that is fun for THE WHOLE FAMILY!

It tests your knowledge of local laws in PULL OVER, GET DOWN ON THE GROUND!
It pits your wit against dim-witted interns in the exciting Slow News Day feature!
It challenges your resolve as your SUPERHERO trudges through recent upheavals in social media!
MEDIA BLITZ!
Doc Drop!

Choose between several SUPERHERO archetypes!

...

You will see many things.
90 % of what I say, is TRUE.
15% is bold face lying.
3% is pure fabrication.
And 8.4192½ % is FACT.
100% of the time, I'm DEAD serious.

Facebook, meh. Necessary evil?
There's a chance dust collects.

...

It stands to posit, this is it.
-Agent Wraith