AT&T

AT&T.
Remember when they 'reached out and touch(ed) someone'?
It's my turn.
I mean, I've been trying to do that all along.
Really.

But, I mustn't compose a list.
No.
That would lead to too many.. problems.

We are unaffiliated for a reason.
Correct?

I do unsavory things.
I've admitted to being a criminal (with no actual convictions, hence NOT A CONVICT).
I've threatened.
I've death threatened.

(And here's the twist, starting now)

If you are human... haven't you done these things?  Have you done any of them?
Have you been accused (justly or otherwise) of a crime?
Been arrested?

Quick, before I forget:  yes. next week (Friday night) is going on as scheduled.
Shine the bronze/gold, defog the gas mask, and stay comfortable in that lawn chair (How do you keep from getting pinched.. you know.. DOWN THERE??), the games are REALLY about to begin.

Although, villains don't make plans.
I'm sure you'd wink, but, i get it. NO EYELIDS.

I don't know how your feet are still functioning, but that shouldn't prevent you from sending me something, be it video or audial.  Yes it is so a word.  Communication has been lax between us and it's cool, but I can't pick your brain and vice versa if we never get a chance to actually talk.
Unless you really don't give a shit.
I'm cool with that too.

Okay! So you did everything first! Got it. Chronologically speaking, it's inevitable.  I have gotten maybe 10 cents out of you.  I'm not TRYING to get your attention.  Your words are powerful though.  And sometimes?  One kitteh is worth a thousand.

I genuinely have no idea what to say to you (but still go on at length).  You snipe (which I think is great), you chastise (which is even more awesome), and you are definitely more intelligent than I could ever hope to be (an easy feat, true; still AMAZING).  Why do we never chat?  I try to be as least annoying as possible with a villain (mostly because they could stab me at any point when the mood strikes), but that can't be it.  I'm ALWAYS annoying.
Transition?  Perhaps I'm just not impressing you?  I've had it suggested that i shouldn't set out to do that.  It is true that sometimes I jab just to get a reaction, but for you, I just like your style.
Is that wrong?  No.  Your villainy impresses me.  That might not amount to much for you, but it means plenty to me.

Good gravy.  Yours is a villainy unlike any other (speaks for so many villains, doesn't it?).  You are a giant among us, capable of crushing each with but one step.  How many times have we just bullshit for an hour?  You pick me up, keep me grounded, and even reach out to help.  HELP!  I would think you would smite me so much as look at me, but you don't.  Oh sure, there is SMITING going on, but not towards Los Sauces.  You are a demon.  You are a villain.  You scare me, inspire me, and keep my morale high.
I await your return to blogging.

You fiend.  You trickster.  You ruffian.
You have been there almost from the beginning, not downing me, but not agreeing with me.  Sometimes you do.  Sometimes you don't.  All well and good.  I support villainy, you support villainy.  We have the same tastes in many things.  We even have a bit of the same experience.  Hell, I think I might BE you.
Although, really, I think I actually know you.  I believe we have met, before we contributed to ONLINE EVIL, and perhaps didn't get along.  Who knows.  I do believe that once the APOCALYPSE is in full swing i have a willing participant in SURVIVAL.  Keep the heroes running in circles.

You, sir, are a certified LUNATIC.  You are EVIL, you are VILE, you are a MEGA-META-MANIAC.  Yours is a villainy to be FEARED.  You are brilliant, both verbally and physically; an intellectual GIANT.  I still think your legs must be mostly machine by now, VADAR.  We have talked (at GREAT length) about a great many things.  I sincerely VALUE that.  Don't let my activities bring you under fire, don't let my words deter you from association.  I can keep ANY secret and WILL.  I may allude to many things, but I will never betray confidence.  I will not GRIFT, unless you deem it so.  It's always better with a willing participant anyways.  Besides, I'd get crushed.

You... YOU... No, YOU... Any mention of my name from you gives me serious school-girl giggles and fan-boy excitement.  Your villainy is incomparable.  Your legend is great, your talent unsurpassed.  Yours is a villainy that will never be forgotten.  It sucks so bad that you suffer.  We all do in some manner, but DAMN if it doesn't suck.  I'm not going to feel sorry for you, you wouldn't want that.  I will support you if it means giving up my couch, if it means giving up my SHOW, if it means giving up MY IDENTITY.  Your villainy means THAT MUCH TO ME.  When i found you, you were beyond needing my allegiance.  You have plenty of henchmen (henchmen, minions, even SUPERVILLAINS are your enslaved masses) and although you could USE more, you don't NEED them.  I would slaughter thousands for one ounce of cure.  I know that my disdain for humans means that particular statement holds little weight.  I feel for you man.  You say the word and it's on.

What makes you think I haven't been working with you all along?  I use satellites.  Sure, I may not know the first thing about building a laser, but that doesn't mean I don't know how to push a button.  I may not know WHICH button.  Your reputation preceded you.  Our first 'meeting' was with little success.  Such is the life of a villain.  I'm sure you've had your share of busted knuckles and chapped lip (photographic evidence proves it) and I applaud (no, ADMIRE) your service.  You are casual, yet firm.  You are cynical and verbose.  You have plenty of talent, all of which I am sorely JEALOUS of.  The next we meet, have your notes and prepare to STOMP ROYALLY.  Maybe not me, maybe ME.  Bring your 'A' game and have at it.  You are feared, rightly so, and I want MOAR.  A glutton for punishment, possibly.  But you keep bringing the pain, I'll keep the floor open for you to dish it.

Oh, I hope you are NOT a 'flash in the pan'.  It's so easy to HATE you.
That's a good thing.
And by good, I mean evil (note: I didn't steal this, I just perpetuate it. It's one of THE BEST sayings I've EVER HEARD. That might suggest to some that I haven't heard much and that.. ah.. shove it. It's THE BEST!).  You do realize though, that the brightest flame burns quickest?  That a shooting star, no matter how bright still burns out?  Surely you must.  Perhaps this is your game.
It matters not.
You are an interesting specimen.  You appear physically sound, perhaps not completely mentally so.  This is not matter.  Some of the best of villainy are a little... bent.
I don't know much about you, this is true.  Perhaps one night you will introduce yourself?
We shall see.
I will tell you this though:  Rebuke whom you wish.  No villain adheres to any 'doctrine'.  And, for the most part, you have yet to see what 'roleplaying' is.

Long have you waited to be taken serious, haven't you?  I would say we have similar tastes, but we know that's only skin deep.  No, you don't take ME serious.  Unfortunately, I take you more serious than you actually are.  I'm sure you are quite capable of everything you threaten/promise, but I believe you fail to realize:  I am as well.
In fact, I may be a bit more of a comedian, but I am not funny.  I'm actually a bit depressing.  Now, I'm not going to get into a pissing match with you (that's the DOMAIN OF HEROES), but I will go toe-to-toe with whatever you're trying to do.  Just for shits and giggles.  I guess we might have more in common than once thought.  After all, we are just a couple of bad jokes away from being hypocrites.  It's okay.  I still support your villainy.  I'm sure we'll get around to that cook-out one day.

I don't know much about you, but what i do know, scares me.
As it SHOULD.
We are similar in so many ways, yet there are some things you excel at that i cannot.
i applaud you for that.
You have your niche.  You are no minion.
You are a villain.
You have shown your support and for that I am quite thankful.
I don't want you to ALIENATE yourself, I want you to BE all you WANT.
Stand alone or with your allies.  With them, THEY are stronger.  Without them, YOU ARE.
You are intelligent, fact.  You are well-spoken, fact.  Give them that which THEY believe in:
HELL.

I did save the best for last, but I have to mention one just before that.
You have to speak up, you HAVE to.  No one is going to hear you if you don't.
If they can't hear you, they can't FEAR you.
You have an opinion, you have motivations, you have inspiration.. USE THEM.
You have the opportunity to excel, so DO IT.
Open the flood-gates and drown them in your spite.
Seal their so-called fate with your hatred.
Release the evil.
It's only going to be a matter of time before we are all LOST IN THE SEA OF VILLAINY, so get to work.
You have two choices, BEcome the villain you choose to BE, or fade.
Don't shine bright, but shine fiercely.  Whatever you shed light on, make it purposeful.

Before I continue, I want to cover most of my bases with a rough address.  To the OTHER villains out there.
I hope i didn't miss anyone.  lol
Your precious FaceBook will falter soon.  It has been under the microscope since its inception.  Cross hairs are drawn..
very soon..
I digress.
DON'T SAY BOMB ON FACEBOOK.
lulz
If you are an unseen villain who has found yourself in an existential quandry full of self-loathing and doubt, just take solace that somewhere out there in this crazy, mixed up, fucked up world, there's a little place called..
LOS SAUCES.
And we're looking for a few good henchmen.
Or minions.
Hell, I'm ready to bring in the BIG GUNS and get me a few villains in the mix.
Baron Terror leaves a lot to be desired.
Seriously, no one has seen that MOVIE?!?

Don't think because you're last on this list-not-list that you are least important.  Oh no.
I have said:
"Without --- there would be no Agent Wraith."
"I couldn't do this without ---."
All true.
When you are down, I am down.
When you are up, I am up.
It takes alot to keep up with me, it takes alot to keep up with you.
You are not just an asset, you are a necessity.
My ONE TRUE WEAKNESS.
My ONE TRUE STRENGTH.
Yours is a villainy unseen.
I will never forget.
Let's do this.

Agent Wraith

p.s.
UP NEXT:  THE HARROWING!  Feel like Agent Wraith's not making any sense?  Good news!  You're absolutely right!  Bad news!  It's just going to get all kinds of WORSE!  It's time to ante up, ladies and gentlemen!  Tough questions?  We've got em!  Easy questions?  What the FUCK are those?  You heard it here.. THERE WILL BE NO QUARTER!  Agent Wraith is broke.