THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE IS REAL!
Oh sure, maybe not the OMG-Our-next-door-neighbor-Ned-just-bit-me or The-entire-city-is-crawling-with-the-undead.. yet. But there are other Zombie Apocalypse scenarios out there...
Let's go over some data.
Sort of.
First, let's see what the internets have to say... ok. That's scary.
But let's look at something a little less OMG-I'm-never-going-outside-again!
Okay, that didn't work either.
You know what?
Let's forget all that nonsense and talk about you humans.
That's where all the REAL DANGER comes from.
That's right.
Religion.
If there was ever a more clear and present threat, it's religion.
If there was going to be an uprising of any sort (alive, dead, or undead), it's going to be some half-moronic/half-gibbering-baboon that spits something the other half-moronic/half-gibbering-baboons don't like and then it's on 'like Donkey Kong'. And when I say that, I mean Donkey Kong and your mom.
That's right.
A great big ape that likes to throw all sorts of barrels in your mom's butt.
And let's face it.
Humans and religion really don't mix well.
Especially human religions that don't mix well.
Like Christianity and Islam.
Or Christianity and Catholicism.
Huh? No, they are NOT the same thing.
Mormons.
They got it right.
Right?
Look.
You say the earth was created by some mystical all-powerful, all-knowing, all-encompassing being. I say it was the Spaghetti Monster.
You can't prove me wrong and I can't prove me right.
Which is the same for any of your GODZ.
Wait, how did this become some half-assed tirade on religion and it's gaggle of brain-dead idiots?
Oh.. Heh. I just read my previous line.
Got it.
Hey all you Reverend Father Pastor Master Legends Of The Universe out there?
Yeah, you.
You got yourself a little online .jpg that says you're hot shit with G-D.. Nice.
You want to know what you don't have?
Dignity.
And Crossfire? A book, regardless of what inspiration it was formed from, that was written by man is NOT EVIDENCE that G-D exists.
It's evidence, all right.
Evidence that a lot of people went through great effort to convince future generations to listen to what MAN tells them to do. There's this thing called 'Position of Trust'. Abusing it is tantamount to evil.
And not the You-will-CROUCH-before-me-now-evil (that's the good, er, evil kind). No. I'm talking about the Do-as-I-say-not-as-I-do-evil.
That bass ackwards reasoning for telling your kids it's wrong to hold hands with the same gendered friends. And everything else that Master Legend and Toth-Toth get away with.
YOU.. Crossfire, fail to understand that I am NOT condemning, bullying, or forcing you to listen or convert to my way of thinking.
'Heaven' help you if you did.
Your eyes would be open, your heart as well, to a grand truth.
It doesn't matter what YOU have faith in.
It's what has FAITH in you.
Now meet my good friend Jesus Christo.
If there's a Zombie Apocalypse.. and Christianity is my 'only hope'?
I'm rollin' deep with this mofo.
Note: Don't get all cranky-pants. I am a creature of passion. I speak from a place that too few fear to tread.
Intelligence.
Now, leave all your snarky little comments below.
